Friday, September 12, 2014

Degree life , a retrospect view

Alhamdulilah, albeit all the crazy stuff I have to endure during my final year during my degree, I managed to graduate on time and with Honors!  I thought my diploma was hard, apparently degree life was a little bit harder! thank God it's over!

Subahan'Allah. I've never been so stressed my entire life! I couldn't even imagine the burden I was under!
With my extra curricular and academic demands, the combination of both was lethal. All I could motivate myself was 'juts one more, the sooner the better". meaning better do it now than to postponed it in the future.  I don't know how I got so busy and hectic!  well actually holding on to 4 presidential posts for 4 different clubs could be the answer.

yup, apparently, during my final year, I was holding 4 presidential posts and an active member of another club. My clubs were as follows, :

1. President for Badan Peer Kaunselor
2. President for Echoes English Debate club
3. President for Bachelor of Administrative society
4. President of Student council's secretariat.
5. Core member of my silat club.

Only Allah knows how crazy I was! In a week I literally have no time for myself! My silat training was 3 days a week at night (mon,wed and fri) preparation for karisma (inter UiTM sports competition at Teranganu), on tuesdays I got my debate trainings and Thursdays  probably a meting with mpp's, the faculty's or Peers! On the weekend I probably be involved with activities arranged by the universitiy and clubs in which I was either the organizing committee or the participant.

My academic life was not so far behind, my thesis was hunting me all the time! all the literature reviews and correction upon corrections! the tests! the everything! the assignments! the presentation! my supervisors for my practical and research were like wolves! was already pulling what's left of my mind! A person can go crazy! and I did, and I pulled through! Alhamdulilah, it was all under Allah's permission and the struggle I had to face day by day.  It's really amazing for on how I could manage to do all that!

I mean there were times of hectic and chaos that I almost collapse! but I persevere! Never ending phone calls and late night meetings.  Thank God I didn't become a komander, if not I would be dead!

A  habit for me when the work load was too much, I would sacrifice my class. For instance, during a class, if I need to meet someone, or send letters or arrange something, I would pretend to go to the toilet, then proceed to HEP or anywhere I needed to be and settle everything there and only end up coming back to the class half an hour later with papers on my hand and sweats on my forehead. I think the lecturers noticed but they never really said anything.

Imagine that bundled into a week, then a month, then a semester!. You just got to be mentally strong!

My mom once asked me, whether I'm getting paid for doing all of these. Maybe she saw me going out everyday and doing activities under the universitiy and may have no interest for me.  voluntary work is fun once you have the heart for it.

in the end, I managed to keep all the pieces connected although falling apart. I was a train wreck by the end of the year, with exams closing in and everything between.
I need to focus and prioritize, and so I did.

I couldn't do it without my friends and comrades, special mention to my best friends Sahrul, Jusree and afiq for being there with foods and movie treats, Fadilah (dila), Redahyyana, Safiah, Hasif, Rauf, Syazrul, abu, farena, harbiah, sir firdausi,my coach kak hayat, en .ardey, miss roza, the mpps, my debate club and so many other unsung heroes of our journey together.  I couldn't do it without them and most works were done by them which I can never repay. Jazakallah khairan.

towards the end of my days, I understood the kind of responsibility a leader has and what a leader was supposed to do, for me I wasn't a good leader, because I wasn't able to focus on what I really wanted for the club. A lesson for not to be so lusty for power and time management. Indeed in the end Allah will question what we have done. Was not a good leader, and I'm sorry, I wish it was better, but I guess that's the best I could give in the situation that I was in. I'm so sorry for my incompetence and if I had let people down and be hurt of my actions for all these years.

I can only hurt myself  and take the responsibility for me.

receiving the faculty's award for ' tokoh kepimpinan' ,''most active student' and 'wira fakulti' was the recognition and was the highlight of my career as a student and a full time commitment to my extra curricular I could not ask for more.

When the examination result came out, I was so glad, didn't get myself a first class degree but graduating with honors was all the prize I can ever wanted with my hectic and crazy student life. Alhamdulilah, thank You Allah.

During my convocation, I can really feel the sacrifice I made was worthwhile. Subahan'Allah.
If I could turn back time, I would do it all over again. It's the people that you meet and the experience, the memories that you get from that you had that builds the person who you are starring in the mirror everyday.

To more adventures in the future inshAllah!

 If I could do it, so can you!

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